i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
