WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
