Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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