You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Liz is crying about burritos again.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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