Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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