That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
