I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
