check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
