Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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