I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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