Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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