did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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