Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
