nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
