I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
