I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
