can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
