what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
