you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
