Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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