i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
