um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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