she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
