I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
