"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
