I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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