have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
