You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
