alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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