i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just invented taco cereal.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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