I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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