just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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