I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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