Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
