a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize