Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
