One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have feelings that need drinking.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
