I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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