So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
