We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
