so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
