This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
