Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
