My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
