i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
