We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
