The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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