32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
