If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
