Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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