He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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