I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
True strength comes from lack of pants
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
