Do you still have your period?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
