I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
