I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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