i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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