So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
